Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
