I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
