Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
