i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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