No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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