hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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