We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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