I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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