now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
