Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
