There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
