well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
True college students do jello shots in the library
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