were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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