is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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