I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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