we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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