How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Rumble strips road head = magical
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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