Im at strip club and am horny
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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