2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
