Im at strip club and am horny
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
