i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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