I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
