So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
