There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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