I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
