they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
