4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
