Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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