do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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