I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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