brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My dick has a subreddit
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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