The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
