so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
