just survived the first fart of the relationship.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
