I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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