Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
