that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
