When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why did my mother make you get naked?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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