we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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