If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
