a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
