We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
