so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
