i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
