I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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