That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
