Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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