Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize