when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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