all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
