He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
