So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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