For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
