Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
