WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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