Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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